What would you advise this businessman?

Here’s what I’d say:

It doesn’t matter if you are the CEO of major corporation, a government official, a small business owner, a church leader, or a marriage partner. You have people who trust you. We’ll call them your “trust audience.” 

And we know at least two things about trust. One, it takes a long time to build. Two, you can lose it in a moment.

A crisis of trust erupts when you don’t live up to your trust audience’s expectations. Consumers expect safe products. Citizens expect their elected officials to actually serve them. Church members expect exemplary behavior from their leaders. A spouse expects honesty from her partner. 

Interestingly, how you handle a trust crisis in large part determines how extensive the damage. Mishandle a trust crisis moment, and you may never recover. 

However, if you handle it honestly, you can minimize the repercussions. In some cases, a genuine, humble response can actually allow you to emerge with even more trust.

In any trust crisis, you have to look in the mirror.

If the looming problem is the result of willful actions (i.e., you intentionally did something wrong), there’s only one path to restoration. Immediately admit what you did. You can’t rationalize, make excuses, or blame others. You have to take full responsibility for your actions. Then, you need to start working to make things right, no matter how long it takes. This is hard. Really hard. And there are no guarantees.

But let’s suppose you didn’t willfully do wrong. You made an honest mistake. (Stealing money or having an extramarital affair wouldn’t apply here.) Or maybe you were negligent or careless…perhaps due to arrogance or laziness. Even though you didn’t intend a certain outcome, your actions resulted in the breach of trust. This is the person who installed the wrong part, forgot to relay the message, messed up the order—or failed to set aside enough money for taxes.

What steps should they take?

• Forget a cover-up. Deliver the full set of facts to your trust audience. If you know what went wrong, say so. Give a full and honest account. If you do not yet know where the proverbial wheels came off, promise to work full time to find out what happened. But turn the spot light on. In your case, this means a full disclosure of the facts to your wife.

• Begin a clean-up. You messed up. Own it. Make it right. In order to restore trust, your trust audience needs to be convinced that you’ve done everything in your power to clean up the mess you have made. The good news is that most folks will have a pretty fair assessment of what you can and can’t reasonably be expected to clean up. If you’ll give it your best effort, most people will meet you halfway. In your case, I’d say work with your CPA to contact the IRS and work out a payment plan for the taxes you owe.

• Promise a check-up. Dance partners with sore toes won’t be eager to dance with you again until you’ve taken lessons. What are you doing to make sure you don’t mess up in this area again? In your case, that means working with your CPA to set up a special tax account for your business. For every dollar that comes in the front door, a certain percentage will go into the tax account for the payment of the taxes you know you’ll owe.

Nothing I’ve suggested here is easy to implement. But there’s no asset as valuable as trust. 

Pay the price to get it back.

If you’re like most people, you have lots of financial questions. Make sure you’re asking the right ones. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com and I’ll send you my free list of “30-Something Questions for People Who are 60-Something.”

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

“It wasn’t a great deal of money, and if we never got it back, we’d be okay. But should we maybe just write a provision in our will to withhold that amount?”

How would you answer? Here’s what I told them—and what I still think:

Carefully consider what you’re trying to accomplish. Unintended consequences are just as impactful as the ones you meant.

Your will is essentially your final statement to your family. And last words, as the saying goes, are lasting words. Those sentiments will stick in minds and hearts. They’ll be remembered—as much as anything else you said during your life. 

So, choose your words carefully.

If your goal is to exact revenge through your will, a will can be a very useful tool indeed. This is the stuff of mystery novels and legal thrillers. The family gathers around the family lawyer, who reads the will with the verbal intonations of a Shakespearian actor.

“And to my worthless, shiftless son, Charles, I leave this cheap $5 wash bucket, full of the same empty promises he always made to me!” The red-faced Charles storms out of the room, while the rest of the family smiles wryly at just desserts delivered in style.

Nothing in your question makes me think you want revenge. So, let’s look at another option.

Is your goal to bring about justice in your will? That’s what it sounds like. You’re thinking of leaving a generous inheritance to your son, minus the amount he took and never paid back.

If you took this approach, the money would indeed be “paid back” at last. And any other children would be “made whole.” However, you would also mark your son—the one you say has turned his life around—with a brand he’d never be able to wash off. He’d always be “the one who stole from Mom and Dad.” Absent any other actions, that’s what I believe would happen if you pursued justice through your will.

There’s another option—in my opinion, a better one—if you really want to make things right. 

Deal with this situation face-to-face, not through a document. Deal with it while you are alive, not after you are gone. If need be, have a trusted third-party facilitate what might be an awkward conversation.

Tell your son what you are really thinking and feeling. Say something like:

“Son, you know that we love you. We’ve been making out our wills and that triggered the memory of the stolen money. We’ve never brought it up; and neither have you. We know you were sorry, and you’ve done such a fine job of making a good life for yourself. We’re proud of the man you’ve become. But we do feel the need to resolve the outstanding issue of the money you stole.
“What do you think is right? Do you want to pay us back? Or would it be better if we just made a provision in our wills that addressed that issue upon our deaths? We can do that in our wills, but we didn’t want to take that action without talking with you first.”

You get the idea. Don’t limit yourself to these words. Make them your own, and say them in your unique way. The specific words that come from your mouth are not as important as the sentiment that comes from your heart. If you’re kind and gracious, and your desire is for true reconciliation and peace, that’s what will be heard loud and clear. 

Justice done through a will too often comes across as vengeance. 

A loving conversation can work wonders. And it will be immeasurably healing to your family after you’re gone.

If you’re wrestling with good questions like this one, make sure you ask all the right ones. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com and I’ll send you my free list of “30-Something Questions for People Who are 60-Something.”

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

Hearing that, I thought of an interview with Erin Botsford in Financial Advisor Magazine. (Erin, if you don’t know, is a highly successful, well-respected financial advisor and author.)

The interviewer began by pointing out that “most people have a pivotal moment in their life, around which everything else revolves” and noting how such incidents tend to shape us.

Erin Botsford told of two such life-sculpting events.

When she was 16, a young man on a motorcycle hit her car and was killed. Even though he was traveling nearly twice the speed limit and drove right into her car, Erin was charged with involuntary manslaughter. She faced the possibility of years in jail if she went to court and lost. 

Erin received her first lesson in real-life economics when an attorney told her that if she had enough money to hire him, he could get her off. But since she didn’t, she should plead guilty. 

The fact that she was not guilty was not relevant. The fact that she had no money was.

Fortunately, Erin’s family found the money (a second mortgage) and an attorney got the charges dropped. But the incident marked her for life. 

“That was the day I learned money buys you choices,” Botsford said.

The other big event in Botsford’s life? When her psychology professor father moved the family to California to pursue his dream of opening a clinic and writing a book. Instead, he went through every last cent his family had, then died at age 50—uninsured. 

Botsford recalls, “We went from middle class to broke overnight.” 

Today, Botsford’s financial advisory practice specializes in risk management and helping clients protect their assets. It isn’t hard to see why.

I admire how Botsford took the really tragic moments in her life and re-directed them towards the service of others. Others can learn from her life’s misfortunes. 

Maybe you’re like the client who confided to me, “I grew up poor.” If you were, that had to be difficult. I’m sure you wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. 

But Botsford’s story is a good reminder that your past doesn’t have to define you or limit you. You get to decide how you will respond to negative events.

Are you cautious with money? Great! You’ll be less likely to fall victim to a slick pitch that’s obviously too good to be true. 

Are you educated (like my client)? Fantastic! That means you’re capable of making smart financial choices. With a good job and steady income, you don’t have to stay trapped in the cycles that trapped your parents.

Take the best of what your past has taught you (caution), and wed that to the best of what your education and career has brought you (opportunity).

May you be only the first of many in your family to grow from, and not just groan under, life’s difficult experiences.

If you’re like most people, you probably have lots of other questions related to financial security. I’d love to help. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com and I’ll send you a free PDF copy of my book “How to Put Financial Worries in Your Rear View Mirror: The Financial Freedom Road Map.” 

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

You can go back and read my column from December 11^th, but in summary I discussed the importance of dying well, living well, being “whole,” and remembering the truth that “life compounds.”

The other four challenges I gave those students?

• Develop response-ability. This idea comes from Stephen Covey’s bestselling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Here’s the gist:

We have little to no control over so much in life: inflation, interest rates, the war in Ukraine, decisions by the Supreme Court, your parents’ divorce, the color of your skin, your country of origin.

Re-active people see such things as happening to them. Their common reaction is happiness or satisfaction if they like a certain reality. It’s disappointment, fear, or anger when they dislike a thing.

The response-able person also sees these realities as “impacting my life.” However, he or she goes the extra step of saying, “Now I get to choose how I will respond to this situation.”

Developing this kind of response-ability is perhaps the greatest superpower you could ever have in life. Very few acquire this mindset, and it won’t be easy for you either, but in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. It’s worth the effort.

• Love people, use things—not the other way around. People that develop this perspective grow in their satisfaction with life and enjoy great relationships. People who don’t, don’t. It’s that simple.

Think about it. Do you prefer to be loved or used? Just as I thought. So, do the same for others. That will go a long way toward helping you live the good life. 

• Fail wisely. This is not an invitation to foolishness. Rather, it’s a call to summon up your courage and pursue worthy goals. 

Failing wisely means you research and prepare. Then, at the right time, you launch. You take worthwhile risks. For example, you…

• Change your major to something you think you’d love and be good at 
• Stay in a major that is really hard—but that you know will be worth it
• Ask her out on the date 
• Apply for that dream job
• Ask for the promotion
• Try to fix the relationship you broke (i.e., you take full responsibility, offering no excuses) 

“But what if I fail?” 

What if you do? A wise man once said, “Success is never final, and failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.” 

Which leads to my final point…

• Don’t stop. I’ve given you an outline for discovering, developing, and living a good, successful life. But you won’t get it right the first time. In fact, you will fail…at times, perhaps miserably. 

That’s okay. Keep going! Most people let failure intimidate them into inaction. They give up, ascribing their failure to who they are rather than to what they tried to do. That’s tragic. Our failures don’t define us. On the contrary, they can actually help us become the best versions of ourselves. But only if we let them.

You’re in college to learn. One of the most significant things you could ever learn is that you are a person designed to live a good life. You’re capable of serving others and doing great things. And you will…if you keep growing and going.

That’s a resume anyone could be proud of.

If you know a young person who could benefit from these reminders, please pass them along.

And if you’re a few years (or decades!) beyond college, I’ve got a book for you. It’s called How to Put Your Money Worries in the Rear View Mirror – The Financial Freedom Roadmap. It’s free if you’d like a copy. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com, and I’ll send it to you right away.

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

In fact, I’m scheduled to do that tomorrow. 

Here are the four reminders/suggestions I plan to share with them.

Die well. Soon after you arrived on campus, you realized, “Not everybody thinks the way I do.” That’s actually a good thing. We mature best in that kind of diverse, challenging environment. 

But that doesn’t mean you put your mind in neutral, or to pretend that all beliefs and ideas have equal merit. That is certainly the spirit of the age, but it is also rubbish. Ideas should be analyzed and put to the test. The ones that ring true and can withstand rigorous scrutiny should be embraced. 

But that’s the ideal. In reality, your classmates will leave this place seeing and interpreting the world in wildly different ways. Even so, there’s at least one truth all can agree on. One day, we will exit, not just this university, but this life. For that reason, we should want to die well. 

How do we do that? That leads us to my second suggestion.

Live well. What does that phrase even mean? What does it look like to “have a good life”? Sadly, most students pick colleges, majors, jobs, even spouses without wrestling deeply with this question. (Despite the fact that one of the original purposes of a university was to get young minds to explore that very topic — “what is the good life?”)

If you aren’t sure how to answer the question, there are many advertisers, prosperity preachers, performers, politicians, social media influencers, etc. who are more than happy to give their opinion.

I suggest you start your own exploration of the good life by following a third suggestion.

Be whole. In my view, you’re made up of at least three overlapping facets. You are body, soul, and spirit. So is everyone else around you. 

If you want to live a good life, you need to define what “good” means for each part of who you are. Leave out one dimension of your personhood and your experience will be fragmented. Incomplete. Unsatisfying.

Some people focus almost exclusively on their physical body, but pay scant attention to their spiritual growth. Others develop their minds, but not their emotional capacity to care for others. You get the idea.

The simple awareness that personhood involves a complex integration of body, mind, emotion, and spirit can help you begin to define what a good life looks like for you. So can the realization that these aspects of yourself are meant to cooperate, not compete, with each other.

That successful integration gets more important over time, because,

Life compounds. To impress upon my clients the importance of long-term investing, I often show them a compound interest chart depicting the growth of $100 invested at 8% interest over 40 years.

After 10 years, that $100 has become $197. After 20 years, it’s grown nearly 4x ($386). After 30 years, it’s approaching a return of 8x ($761). And after 40 years, it’s worth almost 15x the original investment ($1,497)!

In contrast, what happens if you carry a credit card balance of $500 long-term? Assuming an 18% interest rate, that $500 on your credit card will cost you over $2,000 over 10 years. Over 20 years, it will cost you some $13,000. Over 30 years, you’ll have paid $70,000 in interest. Carry that $500 balance for 40 years, and the cost is more than $375,000!

Life works like that. Good stuff often takes a while to show up in the win column. And bad stuff does mind-boggling damage over time. 

Thankfully, we have the freedom to make choices. 

This is why it’s foolish to abuse the only body you’ll ever have. And why it’s so important to develop your mind. It’s why you don’t want to neglect family relationships and friendships. Or put off what you believe about God (or more importantly, what God believes about you). 

Those choices result in real consequences.

Next week, I’ll share the rest of my talk on things every college student should know.

Chances are you’re a few years (decades?) past college. That’s okay. I’ve written a book for you. It’s called How to Put Your Money Worries in the Rear View Mirror – The Financial Freedom Roadmap. It’s free if you’d like a copy. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com, and I’ll send it to you right away.

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

For the next 4-5 months, every Friday through Sunday—okay, almost every day that ends in “y”— big, strong young men (and Tom Brady) will suit up and take to the gridiron. 

What’s fascinating is that these gifted athletes will listen to and follow the instructions of coaches twice as old and half as strong. 

If legendary coaches Nick Saban and Bill Belichick—both 70 now—tried to strap on a helmet and compete alongside their players, the results would not be pretty. 

Yet their players hang on their every word. Why? Because they know their coach isn’t competing against them, he’s trying to get the best out of them. He’s BEHIND them and FOR them. And because he has experience and credibility, he has enormous influence. He’s earned their trust—not just as a coach, but also as a mentor.

To me, this is an encouraging reminder for those us in the workforce who are, shall we say, “more seasoned.” We can use our life experiences and business wisdom to serve younger workers. How do we do that? Three ways:

1. Give affirmation to others. I think it was Ken Blanchard who suggested, “Wander around and catch people doing things right.” And each time you do, offer genuine, thoughtful affirmation. 

This isn’t about being the office cheerleader. I’m not suggesting you offer meaningless “rah-rah” bromides that no one believes, much less takes seriously. This is about you really studying others, identifying something that is both true and valuable about them, and then letting them know. 

“Joe, I’ve noticed that you take a great deal of care when preparing these monthly reports. I want you to know I appreciate it – it makes life a lot less stressful knowing I can count on these things being accurate when you handle them.”

A comment like that may not seem like much to you, but my guess is that Joe will work even harder to make sure those monthly reports are perfect every time.

2. Grow confidence in others. Affirming others is good. But that alone isn’t enough. We have to help people believe in themselves. 

This is where it gets tricky. People have to try things and experience a little success to become confident. But they also need some confidence to get going in the first place! 

Somewhere between “You want me to do WHAT?” and “No problem!” stands a mentor who knows how to push without being pushy. Stretching others without breaking them is an art. 

Learn to do that and your impact in the workplace will be huge.

A third thing you can do is to…

3. Develop competence in others. Years ago, the late Donald Tabb told me how he developed others. He used a five-fold process: tell them why, show them how, get them started, keep them going, and help them to reproduce. 

Developing competence in others begins with helping them know why and how a thing should be done. But that information alone will not overcome the powerful inertia that is fear of the unknown. 

A good coach gets the process started. Then, he or she keeps it going through specific action steps and a plan of accountability. And you’ll know true competence has been developed when those you’re mentoring turn around and take others through the same process.

The key to having a big impact? Focus less on yourself and more on serving and building up others.

Devote yourself to a consistent professional habit of giving affirmation, and developing confidence and competence in those younger than you. You’ll make a difference. And you may actually stay younger longer.

To help you think through the financial implications of aging, I’ve created a comprehensive checklist of pre-retirement questions for people who are 60-something. It’s free. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com, and I’ll send it to you right away.

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

(By “culture,” I mean the collection of common beliefs, values, assumptions, customs, and behaviors that mark a group of people.) 

Every group of people displays a certain culture. Cities do. So do schools and churches, civic organizations and sports teams. 

Businesses also have distinct cultures. (I’m thinking now of one fast-food restaurant marked by unfriendly workers and painfully slow service…and another establishment up the road where I’m always served quickly and with a genuine smile.)

The fact is, cultures develop wherever people live, work, worship, serve, and play together. 

So, your family has a culture. And that culture encompasses a host of facets—including money. For that reason, we can call the way your family sees, understands, and uses money your “wealth culture.”

In my three plus decades as a financial planner, I’ve met people from all sorts of family “wealth cultures.” 

Here are the six most common (and the sort of self-talk that accompanies each one):

• Scarcity. This says there’s only so much wealth in the world. “The more someone else has, the less that is available to me.” Also, “If I spend this money, it’ll be gone; I’ll never be able to replace it.” Generosity is difficult for people here; envy is a problem.

• Guilt. Similar to scarcity, this culture views wealth as a zero-sum game. “I’m not rich, but because I have more than some, I can’t enjoy what I do have, no matter how hard I worked to acquire it. How can I celebrate while others suffer?”

• Inferiority. This culture sees wealth as a birthright for others. “Wealth? That’s for others, not me. I’m from the wrong family. I went to the wrong school. I live in the wrong neighborhood, have the wrong friends, go to the wrong church. People in my group don’t get wealthy.”

• Entitlement. This culture sees wealth as something owed to me. “Because of ___, I deserve my share. My people founded this city! Do you know who my father/mother is! Do you know where I got my MBA? How dare anyone deny me things I want!”

• Consequence. This culture sees wealth as created—and individuals having freedom and agency to create it. “I can work to generate and preserve wealth. If I wisely and diligently provide a service or a product that people find useful, interesting, or valuable, they will pay me for it.”

• Opportunity. This is the opposite of a negative, scarcity mindset. People from this culture say, “There’s never been a better time to be alive. In terms of knowledge, technology, and the ability to connect, the world has never offered more possibilities. If I will just think smart, work hard, be resilient, and work well with others, I can do more than I imagine.”

These are the six “wealth cultures” I see most commonly. I bet one, or maybe two, of them feels familiar. It reminds you of how your family of origin viewed wealth—and shaped your views of money, your habits of saving, spending, and investing.

Here’s the good news: If that culture is not what you want, you can change your wealth culture! And by changing it, you’ll affect all who come after you—your family, friends and community.

Just remember this about a culture: It will try to define you and dictate to you. Like an internal GPS, your “wealth culture” will constantly “re-route” you so that stay with the group.

All the more reason to ask yourself, “What do I want my wealth culture to be?”

To help you think through issues like this, I’ve created a comprehensive checklist of pre-retirement questions for people who are 60-something. It’s free if you’d like a copy. Email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com, and I’ll send it to you right away.

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

Author Donald Miller got me thinking about stories, characters, and plots with his terrific new book Hero on a Mission. Drawing inspiration from great story tellers of the past, Miller argues that all great stories have four primary characters: the victim, the villain, the hero and the guide. 

Using his own life as an example, Miller suggests most of us play all four of those roles at different times in our lives—sometimes even in a single day! But depending on which roles we choose to inhabit most, our lives will be either satisfying or frustrating. Energizing or boring. Hopeful or fearful.

Let’s explore those four roles briefly.

Victims are those who have been treated wrongly. Naturally, they feel helpless—at the mercy of people, circumstances, and events. However, if they embrace a victim mindset long-term, they tend to give up and become negative. 

Villains are actually victims that never processed their pain. When complaining didn’t get the desired results, the villain’s mission became to make others equally miserable.

What about heroes? For most of us, that word conjures up images of Superman or Black Panther. But in stories, heroes don’t begin as powerful figures. Usually, they’re just victims who decide to embark on a more meaningful mission. (Think: Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, or Harry Potter in the J.K. Rowling series.)

And guides? They’re wise, mature heroes who’ve learned enough to lead others out of victimhood into hero-hood. 

Miller confesses to living far too many of his young adult years as a victim – blaming others, wandering aimlessly, feeling depressed. But a progression of events (read the book!) led him to a decision—that he would accept responsibility for the direction and quality of his life. And in that moment, he began experiencing a more meaningful life.

I harp on this idea because every day I see people living out these four roles in their financial lives.

Victims take jobs they don’t like—and settle for inadequate pay. They figure life has dealt them a bad hand—”and there’s nothing I can do to change that!” To them, saving money is useless. Planning for the future is a waste of time. “Why bother? Everyone and everything are conspiring against me.”

Villains set out to make others small. “If I’m miserable,” they reason, “everybody else needs to pay.” Villains cause drama in the workplace. They try to sabotage the professional reputations of others. They start rumors and strategically withhold information. They’re experts at the warfare of office politics.

Heroes are flawed, but they are also progressing. They take responsibility for their financial future. They accept that challenges will come and setbacks are inevitable. But heroes never give up. They remain in pursuit of their goals, largely because in their corner they’ve got …

Guides only play a supporting role in most stories, but it’s a hugely important one. (Think: Yoda in Star Wars or Gandalf in The Hobbit.)

I’ve actually found the role of Guide to be the most satisfying role in life. 

We should continue playing the hero all our days. But once a hero has made real progress, where’s the next challenge? Answer: In guiding others. Specifically, helping someone move from victim to hero of their own story. 

In matters of personal wealth, that can be a parent coaching a child to grow out of being an immature consumer into becoming a mature value-creator. It can be mentoring a junior executive to fail, learn, recover and eventually thrive. It can be an advisor showing a client how to turn their fiscal jigsaw puzzle into a financial masterpiece. 

To recap: Even if you feel stuck in a certain role—and a not-so-great story—you’re not. You get to choose the role you will play, and to a large degree, the story you will live.

Right now, the world (including the world of finance) has enough victims and villains. What we need are more heroes and guides. Choose those roles.

On a related note, I recently created a comprehensive checklist of pre-retirement questions for people who are 60-something. It’s free if you’d like a copy. Just email me at bmoore@argentadvisors.com, and I’ll send it to you right away.

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

Okay, it’s actually the same ten pounds, gained and lost ten times.

Blame it on the holidays, I guess. Sweet people sending me sweets. My wife’s deadly—the good kind of deadly—pecan pie. Hey, I’m not complaining. I love all that delicious stuff.

But New Year’s Day always comes. I look at the scale (and into the mirror) and see those ten pounds of ugly fat have once again taken up residence on my mid-section.

Last year, I paid someone to help me “count macros.” I learned “macros” is short for “macro-nutrient.” (Don’t ask. I have no ideas what all that means.)

I only know that “counting macros” is diet-speak for figuring out how many of your calories come from protein, from carbohydrates, and from fat. 

It was all very precise. I was instructed to log each bite of food onto an app on my iPhone. The app did calculations for me, showing me a pie chart of how balanced my “macros” were. (Apparently having out-of-balance macros is the recipe for weight gain.) 

This plan was, in a word, miserable. I was constantly reminded of all the foods I couldn’t eat. Each meal became a complicated math problem. Before long, I wanted to throw my phone against the wall. I only lasted about 30 awful days. 

This year I’m trying a different approach. Rather than count every calorie (or macro) before it hits my mouth, I’m using a “balanced approximation” method called The Zone.

It lets you measure with your eyes. Now, for a healthy diet, I just fill about 1/3 of my plate with lean protein. The rest of the plate needs to consist of complex carbohydrates. Fat can come from things like olive oil, avocados, and almonds, all of which I love. 

Are there any “no no’s”? Only a few. I’m swearing off sweets, most breads, and most pasta. 

Still, it’s so much easier. Some broad rules and just a few things to stay away from. There’s nothing to count, and no heavy focus on what I can’t do.

I actually like this! I’m not mad at my iPhone anymore. In fact, my phone isn’t even involved. I’m not hungry all the time, I feel good, and those ten unwanted pounds have been put on notice. They’re in the process of being evicted, one at a time. 

I tell you this story about dieting, because in it I see a great parallel to our financial lives.

A few dear souls were born to count everything. They’re wired that way. They follow a “budget based” approach to financial planning. It works for them, and they love it.

But just because they love it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you if you don’t!

Most people—maybe even you—don’t have the patience or diligence to count every penny and account for every dollar. Does that mean your only alternative is the financial equivalent to overeating (i.e., over spending)? Not on your life.

Applying the “Zone” philosophy to your financial life is pretty simple.

Save 10%. Reduce debt with 20%. Spend the remaining 70%. 

Once your debt is all paid off, take the 20% that was going towards debt reduction and split it. Give yourself a 10% lifestyle raise and save the other 10%. 

Now you’re spending 80% and saving 20%!

The “sweats, breads and pastas” that you stay away from? Consumer debt. Ban that completely from your “financial diet.”

Obviously, this isn’t the only financial planning you’ll ever need to do. However, if you at least do these things in 2022, you’ll be well on your way to a healthy financial life.

And best of all, there’s no misery required.

And if you’d like a proven roadmap to true financial freedom, email me at bmoore@argendadvisors.com. I’ve got a free e-book called How To Put Financial Worries in Your Rear View Mirror. I’d love to send it to you.

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.

In fact, Howard Hendricks used to recommend “Thanksgiving Therapy.” He suggested writing the phrase “I’m thankful for…” on a pad of paper, then listing all the specific reasons you’re grateful. 

It’s a powerful exercise. Try it and you’ll discover—as I have—that Dr. Hendricks’ advice produces at least eight profound benefits!

1. Giving thanks can shift your outlook. If you find yourself obsessing over problems, the simple act of giving thanks can spark a mental shift. It’s impossible to fixate on bad things when your mind is busy focusing on good things. 

2. Giving thanks can reduce stress. As your mindset gradually shifts from a 100% problem focus to even just a 50-50 problem/blessing focus, you will likely experience your stress levels decreasing. 

3. Giving thanks can rein in wild emotions. Emotions are the early warning systems in our lives (for good and for bad). While helpful when monitored and understood, emotions can be disastrous when uncontrolled. 

Imagine allowing a wild hog to roam free inside your house all weekend. My guess is you’d come home to unwanted messes in all sorts of places. In a similar way, unchecked emotions leave fear, cynicism, and distrust in all the wrong places.

Again, the simple act of giving thanks trains our emotions to notice the positive, not just the negative. Before long, we find fear giving way to peace and even optimism. 

4. Giving thanks can improve your relationships. Negative people often struggle relationally. The reason isn’t hard to figure out. Negativity repels others. But when you grow in thankfulness, people in your life start realizing you’re grateful for them! And who doesn’t like being where they’re appreciated?

5. Giving thanks can open your mind to creative possibilities. Negative thoughts have a way of “clouding” our minds. And when we can’t see, we tend to hunker down and get cautious. 

Expressing gratitude acts to blow those dark clouds away. Thankfulness opens our minds to possibilities we’ve been unable to see, or that we’ve forgotten. This, in turn, unleashes the extraordinary creativity we all possess—but which too many of us keep stifled under a million negative thoughts. 

6. Giving thanks can make your world bigger. A problem-filled world seems small and oppressive. A possibility-filled world feels big and expansive. In a real sense, when you open up gratefully to the world, the world opens up to you. As you look for reasons to be thankful (some might call this optimism), the world starts to feel limitless. 

7. Giving thanks can help identify solutions. This expanding world holds all sorts of solutions for the circumstances in your life you now call problems. 

I’m not suggesting that a naïve, Pollyanna approach to life will rid you of your problems. Quite the opposite actually. Many of our problems will never fully go away. For those, we need as much help as possible. 

I’ve found that giving thanks often begins the process of helping me find the solutions I need to cope with the intractable problems I face.

8. Giving thanks reminds you of your priorities. A problem-focused person has only one priority – keeping track of all their problems. That’s not what any of us would choose (if we could always see clearly). Sadly, it’s what many of us subconsciously choose, most days. 

What’s most important in your life? Are you giving thanks for that today?

Pull out that sheet of paper. Spend 30 minutes doing a little “Thanksgiving Therapy.” 

When you’re done, I suspect you’ll be grateful for one more thing: 

The amazing power of the simple act of giving thanks. 

Argent Advisors, Inc. is an SEC-registered investment adviser. A copy of our current written disclosure statement discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request. Please See Important Disclosure Information here.